Quarter Life Crisis

You know that moment first thing on Monday when you have a mental scramble to remember something fun you did over the weekend so you don’t sound like a bum to your coworkers? Yup, that happened to me for about 12 months straight.  Except this one Monday in July I literally could not think of ANYTHING I did all weekend (no, not due to copious amounts of drugs-thank you very much) but because I spent the entire weekend dreading Monday.


 That’s when I realized it- my life had hit the proverbial wall.


Yes, I do understand at 24 your life doesn’t hit squat compared to you people in your thirties and forties. And fifties? Forget it- you have way more to stress about than I do- KIDS? Hell no. Careers, significant others, and aging parents? Forget that! Me? I didn’t even have a goldfish. But that was my problem: I didn’t have ANYTHING to worry about.


No risk. My job was steady at a growing company, I had a great apartment on the beach, awesome friends, and no debt. Sounds pretty fabulous, right?  WRONG. I realized I was just a sitting duck waiting to be scared out of the bushes and shot.

Ok, ok. That sounds disturbing- The metaphor that I’m trying to get here is:
I’m the duck (duh).
The Shot Pellets- a monotonous life.
The Bushes- my carefree 20’s that will whither and die no matter how much MiracleGro I dump on them.
The shooter- The MAN?
The extremely cute black lab retriever who delivers me to The Man- No clue what that signifies, I just like adorable black labs.


Back to the duck problem- so there I was, sitting around, growing plump (yes, desk jobs do that to you) doing nothing with myself. I was letting life pass me by and not trying anything new (except for the occasional microbrewery, they’re popping up all over the Tampa Bay area. FYI- I love Cigar City, but RAPP Brewing’s porter is bomb, and Saint Somewhere rocks. Their tasting room opens whenever they feel like it so go check it out and hope you get lucky).


Again- I digress. So what do you do when life is smooth sailing without a cloud in sight? You call Poseidon and tell him he looks like a monkey’s butt. Or in my case- put my two weeks notice in at work and flip life upside down, dropping everything to figure out how to move to California.

The Quarter Life Crisis has commenced!